Secrets at Night

Everyone has those nights where they lie in bed for hours either staring at the ceiling or with their eyes closed. It brings new meaning to “Just resting your eyes”. Everyone has experienced some sort of event like this where your mind just won’t shut down. Recently, my events have taken a toll on my own physical health to the point to where I’m not sleeping anymore because of how much I am thinking.

For example, last night, it started out with an embarrassing moment from Kindergarten where I called another classmate a dumbass. Yes I know, such vulgar language for such a young child. My mind then moved onto other embarrassing details to the point where it reached 6th grade. This was when the thoughts turned into nightmares and this is when I actually fell asleep. I wish I had never fallen asleep because I’ve been walking on eggshells all day.

My brain took the path of 6th grade along the lines of the bullying I was subjected to everyday. It’s almost as if I relived that entire grade in the matter of an hour of “sleep”. When I woke up, my entire body was sore and painful, almost as if I had actually relived the physical bullying I had received. Like being thrown against a brick wall, pushed into a locker, or being pushed down 2 flights of stairs where I crashed into another brick wall at the bottom of my trip. When I woke up, I had a massive migraine and an extremely sore back. I couldn’t get a proper footing climbing down my bunk bed and managed to fall onto the ground. Needless to say, with my injured leg of over 3 months, this was extremely painful.

It’s almost as if that these night terrors take a physical toll on me as well as mental. Hours later at 7 p.m, my migraine still has not gone away even though I have taken my medication, and my back is still very sensitive. People continuously asked me all day why I was in such pain. I just simply said that I must have slept wrong. But I know this to not be true.

I slept on my back all night, still as a log, but my mind took it’s toll on me and managed to affect me physically. I still don’t understand why but I feel it may have something to do with the tension a body undergoes during stress and fear.

But sadly, telling the person “I had night terrors all night and my body was under the stress all night and now I’m in physical pain because of issues my mind cannot seem to recover from, not matter how much help I receive.” isn’t the proper response.

So, as far as everybody should be concerned with, I simply slept wrong.12190130_1191457397534603_8331706759306819721_n

About kyrinian

Just an exhausted college student who doesn't like to talk to people in person about what she's thinking.
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